Moving
by LANIKI
Summary: A very short 3 chapter story. House's stuff keeps moving! Who's behind it? Written for the OC Story site's Friday Night challenge, prompt: Moving. No slash, no pairings. Rated T for some language
1. Chapter 1

**This very short story was written for the new House/OC Fan Fiction site's Friday Night Challenge. If you like House with other characters, come and visit the site. Send me a message and I'll give you the link. This is not a romance and will not develop into a romance. This is just fun.**

**Moving - Part 1**

Where the hell was his stuff???

For the last two weeks, all of his things had gone missing. Oh, not for long. They always turned up – just in different places. Where they did not belong.

At first it was small moves: his red and grey tennis ball was on top of the coffee maker, his favorite pen from his desk on the fax machine, his red coffee mug on the balcony. All things he hadn't moved in places he hadn't put them.

Then it started escalating. His desk chair had ended up in Wilson's office, his whiteboard in Cuddy's. Needless to say, the recipients of those items were less than pleased.

Nothing was actually stolen – just moved.

Today it was his easy chair. He did not want to think where it would end up.

He found out rather quickly. One of the surgeons called him and told him angrily to get his fucking chair out of his operating room.

He knew it belonged to House because of the big placard taped to it that stated "Property of Gregory House."

He sent Foreman and Taub off to retrieve it and decided that he'd absolutely had enough. He was going to get to the bottom of this no matter what.

The culprit – or culprits – usually did their dirty work at night, but only when he didn't have a patient. He/she/they always made sure he wasn't there.

So they had a key to the office and knew his schedule. Or could find it out.

He started writing on a piece of paper as he considered and dismissed the usual suspects: Wilson and Cuddy.

Wilson wouldn't play games with him at work when he could screw with him at home. Besides, there was no reason for Wilson to screw with him now. He knew the man well enough to realize that he only retaliated on things House did to him, he never made a pre-emptive strike.

Cuddy had certainly done things like this before. But since her involvement with Lucas, she had taken to avoiding him as much as possible. It was easier for her to stay away than to deal with him. He couldn't see her suddenly doing an about face.

No, it was someone else. Someone who was holding a grudge against him for some reason. Of course, that really didn't eliminate many people.

His team crossed his mind too. But they knew how miserable he could make their lives. More miserable than usual, that is.

So it was someone else. But who? He crumpled up the paper he was writing on, since there were really no good ideas on it and tried for a slam dunk into the wastebasket. He missed and the paper ball landed on the rug beside a half dozen others that were failed baskets. He shrugged and got up to go bother Wilson and see what he thought about the mystery. As he did, the crumbs from his morning bagel that had fallen on his desk, hit his trousers. He brushed them on the floor along with the foil wrapper the bagel had come in.

Wilson was with a patient, so House decided to head to coma patient's room for some R&R. Especially since his own easy chair was still en route. First he went to the cafeteria to get a sandwich. He grabbed a tray and got in line.

Damn! No one here he could convince to buy him lunch. He paid for his sandwich and grabbed about a dozen napkins from the box. He dropped the tray on the nearest table and took his food to the elevator.

Forty-five minutes later, his tummy full of reuben, dry (no pickles), he decided he'd better head back to his office and try to solve his little mystery. He left the Styrofoam container and soda cup on coma guy's table and headed back to Diagnostics.

His team was not around, but his chair was back. He decided that some coffee and reading his latest medical journal while relaxing in his chair would be a good use of his time. He went to the coffeemaker, but it was empty. He hated having to make coffee. He opened it up and removed the old grounds by dumping them in the sink. He even went so far as to open a coffee pack. Then he decided that it wasn't worth the trouble. Leaving everything there, he grabbed a package of peanut butter crackers and went to his chair to start reading his journal.

An hour later, as he lay there with his journal spread out on his chest and the cracker wrapper on the floor by the chair, he felt someone shove him. And when he opened his eyes, he saw Cuddy glaring at him.

"You were supposed to be in the clinic an hour ago!"

"I was there! Didn't you see me? Put in two hours of work, wiped lots of runny noses and swabbed crotches. I just got back here!"

"I was just there. And you haven't been. Get down there. NOW"

He thought about how he could get around her, but she turned and marched out of the office.

He sighed. Ever since she'd fallen in love, she just wasn't fun anymore. He got up and the journal fell to the ground. He started to lean down to get it, but his leg was aching and he thought, screw it, housekeeping would pick it up anyway.

He spent the next hour in the clinic, actually doing what he'd told Cuddy he'd done. There were more than his share of runny noses. He went through several pairs of plastic gloves. Most of the discarded ones landed in the trash bin. Some fell a little short and landed on the floor.

When he was finished, he dropped the last file at the nurse's station and trudged back to his office. He picked up his backpack and opened it. What was in the backpack that was taking up so much space? He pulled out several MacDonald's wrappers and an empty water bottle. He dumped the trash on the desk, along with some other papers he didn't need, and left.

As he rode down in the elevator, he thought about his mysterious thief and got an idea.

When he got to the first floor, he called out rather loudly, "Dr. House is checking out for the day! Don't bother me."

The nurses just rolled their eyes and basically ignored him. House was just being, well, House.

He got into his car and thought about his next step. He doubted the thief was doing his/her dirty work while there were still so many people around. They'd get noticed too easily. It had to be after most of the people left and just the night shift was working. They were more concerned with caring for the patients and making it through their shifts. They didn't monitor the offices. That had to be when the culprit was striking.

He drove home, had something to eat, then prepared for his 'mission'. He dressed in black jeans and sweatshirt and put a black wool cap on his head. He put a flashlight in his backpack along with a few other things. Once the sun went down, he headed back to the hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

Rita DeMascio arrived at her desk at seven p.m. sharp, just like every night. She looked at the reports from the day staff. As manager of Housekeeping, night shift, it was her responsibility to make sure everything was completed that hadn't been completed during the day. And that any complaints were answered.

She started to review the reports and complaints. Her staff would be in at eight, and she needed to hand out assignments that went beyond their normal duties. Of course, the complaints centered around the same things that they usually did. There were the normal things that happened, but beyond that were the calls from the nurses to clean up the clinic and the room of the man in a coma. And of course, Diagnostics.

She sighed. She seemed to spend her life cleaning up after Gregory House. Thank God she was not married to that man. Her own husband was bad enough, but he was a good guy, so she didn't mind a little mess. From what she knew of Dr. House, he was not.

She was sure that if she were married to a man like him, she would not be able to work this job. Theirs was an interesting and hectic schedule, but it worked for them and they were able to keep their kids in parochial school and take a nice vacation every summer.

She worked from seven until four a.m. When she went home, she went right to bed. Her husband woke up at six, got the kids to school and headed off to work himself. She got up around eleven, did her cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, etc., and picked the kids up from school. She had the time to help them with homework or play a game and eat dinner with them, they she left for work. Their father cleaned up the dishes and got the kids to bed.

They both got to spend time with the children and still hold full time jobs that paid good money. It worked for them.

And she liked her job, she really did. It was pretty quiet at night, no bosses around to bug you. Her staff was pretty good and needed very little supervision to get their jobs done.

The one fly in the ointment that was her job, was cleaning up after Gregory House. Every day there were complaints from him or about him. Her staff spent half their time picking up his mess. He was supposed to be a brilliant doctor who figured out difficult cases. Why couldn't he figure out how to find a trash can?

The first of her staff arrived and she started handing out assignments. When she mentioned the coma patient's room, they groaned.

"House at it again?" Pete, a tall, red-haired guy, asked.

"This is ridiculous!" Sherry, a petite blonde, said. "It's bad enough that he leaves his own office like a pigsty, but does he have to destroy the rest of the hospital as well?"

"Yeah, but if his own office has even a speck of dust on it, he gets that uptight Dr. Foreman to call and complain."

Sherry spoke in a snooty voice. " 'Dr. House's office needs to be cleaned'. 'There is trash in Dr. House's office. Please remove it.' Why the hell doesn't Dr. House stop being a slob?"

"Guys, I got it!" Rita said. "We don't need to go over this every night. At least half of the complaints on my desk are about the mess that Dr. House leaves. Not just on your floor, all over the hospital. I wish there was something we could do about him, but he's a doctor. We're Housekeeping. So just do what you have to do and suck it up."

She gave them their assignments and sent them off. The next teams came in, also with complaints about House. She handled them the same way. Once she was alone again, she took a deep breath. She loved her job, she really did. But dealing with _children_ was difficult – no matter what age they were.

And even though she'd never met the man, she had a feeling Gregory House was the biggest child of all.

Pete and Sherry started their work in the Diagnostic department, grumbling and complaining to each other every time they had to pick up more trash left behind by the department head and his staff.

"Is it so hard to throw used coffee grounds in the trash?" Sherry said. "Now I have to clean this whole sink! Do you know what a bitch it is to clean coffee grounds out of a sink?"

"I do." Pete agreed. "And look at the trash all over the floor. This is nuts!"

Sherry stopped what she was doing to look at her companion. "What do you think – tonight?"

"We just did the chair last night."

"Right, which means he won't be expecting anything tonight, since we usually wait a few days."

"Okay. But what? And where?"

As they considered their options, they didn't see a pair of blue eyes watching them from the balcony where the door was slightly opened.

Rita was just finishing her inspection of the first floor when her cell phone rang. When she answered, she was surprised to hear the call was from security.

"Mrs. DeMascio, I'm holding two of your staff here. Dr. House just caught them stealing equipment from his office."


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Rita walked into pandemonium in House's office. Everyone was talking at once. A man she assumed to be Dr. House was yelling about thieves. Pete looked scared to death, but he kept trying to talk over House. Sherry was crying, quite loudly. And Henry, the security guard, was trying his hardest to calm everyone down.

Rita new nothing would be accomplished if she didn't get control of this situation first. In a voice louder than all of the rest, she yelled, "What the hell is going on here?"

House turned to her and yelled back, "Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm their fucking boss! And I need all of you to shut up so that I can figure this out." Rita was born in Trenton, NJ, in the 'Burg, and she did not let anyone out yell or out curse her.

House glared at her and she got a good look at blue eyes that bore into her like lasers. He was a jerk, but wow, he was sexy. Almost made her forget she was a married woman. Until the next moment, when he opened his mouth again.

"Well, fucking boss, your kiddies here are stealing my stuff. I want them arrested!"

"Yeah, I kinda got that idea. But you're gonna shut up and let me find out what the hell is going on first."

"What's going on is that they've been stealing my stuff for weeks!"

Rita glared at him, then turned to Pete and Sherry. "Is this true?"

"No, Rita, we never stole anything."

"I caught them RED-HANDED! They were taking my keyboard. Look, it's in their cart!"

Rita glanced over and that indeed, the keyboard was in the cart.

Through her tears, Sherry said, "We TOOK them, but we didn't STEAL them. We just moved them. He always got them back."

"That true?" Rita asked House.

"Yes, but that's not the point."

"You're right, but it isn't stealing if you still have the stuff."

House opened his mouth to disagree, but she stopped him. "I've heard all I need to hear from you right now." She turned to her employees. "What would possess you to do this?"

"We were mad that you kept getting complaints about him." Pete said. "Every night, you said, all the complaints were about him and the mess he made."

"No one ever told you to take matters into your hands." Rita told them.

They nodded. "We know."

"Okay, Pete and Sherry, go to my office and wait for me."

Henry spoke up. "Mrs. DeMascio, I have to make a report on this for Dr. Cuddy."

"Absolutely, Henry. I will write up a report myself and you can sign it. I'll be happy to be with you when you give it Dr. Cuddy. In fact, why don't you escort Pete and Sherry so that you make sure they get there?"

Pete swallowed. "Are we in trouble? Are we gonna be fired?"

"Yes, you are in trouble. I don't know anything else right now. Just go."

They looked at her once more and even snuck a glance at House's angry face, before leaving the office.

"This is bullshit!" House complained. "They're thieves!"

"They aren't thieves. You still have all your stuff. They just moved it."

"But—"

"Look, if you weren't such a pig around this hospital, this wouldn't happen. You leave your shit everywhere and expect other people to pick up after you."

"I expect YOU to pick up after me. You're my maid."

"Talk about bullshit! I'm nobody's maid. Especially not yours."

"You're Housekeeping, right?"

"Yes."

"I'm House. You have to KEEP me."

She rolled her eyes. "That's really lame, Doctor. I'd heard enough to expect better from you."

"I'm serious. Why do think it's called Housekeeping? It's to keep House – happy. In fact, why don't you drop to your knees right now, lovely Rita? Let's see how happy you can make me."

Now she narrowed her eyes at him. "That's disgusting and degrading. Even if I wasn't married, I could do a lot better than you."

He just smirked at her. Despite herself, she was taken in by the blue eyes and mischievous grin. Not that she would ever let him know that!

"Dr. House, if you can behave like a civilized human being for five minutes, I think we can figure this out."

"Figure what out? Your people are thieves. You probably are too. You probably get a cut of everything they steal!"

"A cut of what? Nothing was stolen! You got everything back. What could anyone have profited from taking those things?"

"Exactly! So why did they do it?"

"Maybe because you're the biggest slob in this hospital. You leave trash, garbage, crap everywhere! The clinic, your office, even the room of that poor man in a coma!"

"Hey, he likes the company."

She just gave him a withering look. "I get constant complaints about the mess you've made and my staff spends most of their time just cleaning up after you. And if that's not bad enough, you have your Dr. Foreman complain that your office needs to be cleaned. As if we don't already know that."

House thought about why Foreman was being such a prick to Housekeeping. He didn't mind being a prick himself, but he didn't want others honing in on his territory. And why did Foreman care? House didn't care.

But if he was honest, he was pretty careless around the hospital. It just never occurred to him that people were bothered by it.

"So, are you going to fire Bonnie and Clyde?"

"Probably not."

"So they get off scot free?"

"No, they will be reprimanded and it will be on their performance records. They may lose their raises this year. But they are both working their way through school, as are most of my staff. They didn't really steal anything, so there isn't any reason to fire them."

"But—"

"Oh, grow up! Your stuff wasn't hurt. And they won't do it again; I can assure you of that."

House grumbled something under his breath. But he couldn't really complain. She was right: nothing was stolen. And those kids had looked terrified. He didn't have a need to force two kids to lose their job. However, he couldn't let Rita think that he was soft.

"Well, if you're going to let your staff walk all over you, that's your business."

She rolled her eyes again. She knew what game he was playing, but decided to let him.

"So, are you going to pursue this further?" She asked.

"As long as they don't touch anything…I guess not."

"Thank you, Dr. House, that's very gracious of you."

"That's me, the soul of human kindness."

"Right." She said dryly. "And, while we're talking, do you think it's possible for you to be a little more conscientious around the hospital when it comes to trash and stuff?"

"It's possible. It's not probable, but it is possible."

She just gave him a smile and left the office. As he watched her leave, admiring her rear, he thought that he could possibly be a little better about his trash. That would only be right.

But he also thought about brooms and mops and such. And wouldn't it be interesting if they started moving?

The End

**Thanks everyone for the great response to this little story! As I said, this isn't a romance - Rita is a happily married woman. But you will see Rita again. I think House needs more friends around the hospital and she will be good for him. Their relationship will be friendly, flirty and feisty. But not a roamnce. I may do another short story featuring Rita, but she will definitely appear as a minor character in longer stories that are romances. I like her and I hope you do too.**

**Thansk again! Louise**


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